Sunday, January 18, 20097:11 AM
■ this on and off flirtatious moment with depression
this queer relationship i have with depression.
its really something amazing.
something i can never grab hold of.
and find out whats wrong with me
its like this on going flirtatious moments i have with depression.
it jus never seem to go away.
im deprived. and if my frens hear of this.
they'll laugh. what a joke.
its not as if they havent seen chun like this before.
its simply boring to have this kinda relationship all the time.
its so tiring and its jus the same.
sometimes i come out of it.
knowin tmr would be a better day.
or sometimes be sad cos i noe i missed out on alot of things.
see what i mean?
nothing is set. nothing is predictable.
and i dun wanna be stuck here like this with this stupid feeling at all.
the feeling of being lost is here once again.
its like a game.
no winning or losing.
it jus seems to be forever.
never ending at all.
oh my god!!!
oh my freakin god!!
im so tired!!
i cannot tink anymore..
good news is.. the proj me and za has been workin on.
its finally goin to be out soon..
oh god..
fingers cross!!
and updates on my work..
it sucks.
now it seems as though it is jus like sch.
i dread to go to work at times.
cos i noe for sure i would have to face those silly lil moments.
where they will play and plot and do stupid politic stuff.
which is lame and boring.
cant they jus grow up and grow out of it at all?
sickenin..
this is like a child's play.
onli kids are playin this kinda game.
but sadly this is the society.
and this is wad i see.
for god noes what reason they are doin this.
life aint the same.
it aint good.
it aint gettin worse.
its jus there.
and its plain boring.
i ned something fresh in life again!
something new.
something excitin and of cos interesting!
i ned those kinda killing drives.
those super thrllin moments!!
i ned them.
and i crave for stupid things to happen.
like plunge down to the river from the top of guilin.
but i cant swim.. haha..
im blabbering and being gibberish.
cos as i said im havin issues with myself.
and im in a confuse state rite now!
oh god.. anyways... tmr is a better day for sure!!
:) smiles.. and erika if u are readin this..
cheer up aite? there are many ppl who neds ur smile to brighten up ur day. bet aidil will agree wit me on this! heehee.. love u babe.. we all love u!!
u noe wher to find me if u ned me!!
im goin to sing myself to slp tonight~
ahahahhaa..
with this croaky voice of mine.
and i cant seem to get back that old voice of mine anymore,
my throat hurts.
my body hurts.
everythin hurts!!!
~for this is the life i live. for i hold the answers in my hand. i ned to do something abt them~
