Sunday, February 1, 20097:20 AM
■ the clouds floats by..
i flipped through the pages.
and recalled every incident.
recalled every sweet moments we had.
everything turned old.
memories turned old as the pages turn yellow.
a msg that will never receive a reply anymore.
a fren whom ive lost.
a trust i never issued out.
a word i never fail to say.
a feelin i wont be able to get rid of so easily.
this is the state where i got myself into.
a state whereby i duno how to go about.
its tough. bt i'll keep on going.
its a race i never fail to participte in.
where i never fail to stumble on every hurdle.
where i fall in the middle of the race.
where i got pushed over by others.
the human race.
this race i wanna win.
but i admit defeat this time round.
ive onli one person i ned to win and fight with.
myself.
if i cant fight and win myself.
what good would it be if i win others?
the feelin wont be the same anymore.
i jus wanna type out all these feelins
to remove any sadness and sense of emptiness i have in me.
i have no one to blame onli myself.
this i noe for sure.
i hurt him.
i let go.
i m weak!!!
i dun regret anything.
i onli wished the best for him.
even now.
i wish we were frens.
i dun ask for more.
i onli ask to be his fren once again.
i dun wanna to lose this frenship no matter how shitty i was being treated once.
but will i get this chance again?
frens...
it seems like i have one or two of them.
i duno anything anymore.
i kinda let go of mankind at times.
to shut myself up and talk to myself and god.
to know what i wan to do.
wad i wan at the end of the day.
im walkin dwn this memory lane alone.
and im goin to walk out of this maze.
it might not be easy.
bt im sure im goin to make it.
i ned another break.
another time out from this city.
~i never mean to hurt you my love. it was only for a good cause.
