Thursday, April 10, 20149:07 AM

■ fallen angel

The night fails as usual and I sit here worrying about what tomorrow might bring.
The fear, sadness and worries that I have, who can understand?

The thought of being a failure, the fallen angel is such a big burden.

The fallen angel.
All dressed in black.
From the height of the heaven falls straight down on earth.
The thump sound and the pain is too much to bear.
The breath taken out from the fall.
The ache inside the heart.
The tears start to dance around the corner of the eye.
They start to drool down the side.

Hurt. How deep do you feel your wound?
No physical wound? How bad is ur internal wound?

I failed as a child to both my parents and failed my sisters. I failed to carry out my duties like before.
Was I wrong? Was it a wrong step?
What went wrong and how do I solve it?
What can be done in order for me to stand back up again?
What can I do?

Without the wings, I cant fly.
Without my pillars, I cant stand.
I tried to lean, but in the end it toppled down on me. Leaving me breathless, scrawling on the floor, too painful and tired to scream out loud for help.

The thought of being a burden, the though of having no capability and ability to help urself and others leaves me helplessly depressed.

I do not wish to be back to square one. How can I help myself to be stronger. I do not wish to be back in the starting point again. I do not wish to start all over again.

The suffering we went through, once is enough.


Oh God, please guide me through this difficult time and let me be able to stand strong and be ablw to stand back up. Stronger than before, ; bigger than I ever was.

All I want is to be back to the old confident self witb nothing to worry about.

I pray and hold. Holding on to the smallest hope I can grab hold of.